Hoarders: How Not to Save Money

We’ve all jokingly made references to growing old, getting a few dozen cats and becoming a “crazy cat lady” (or gentleman), not knowing that these people actually exist. And these are the people featured on the grimly addictive A&E series Hoarders.

While each episode might seem like a cautionary tale against accumulating junk, there are many hidden tips for the frugal. They may be buried beneath uncomfortable scenes of home inspectors digging through mountains of cat litter, but they’re there!

So what do these Hoarders do that you should never, ever do? Let’s take a look…

Why Have One Cat When You Can Have Ten?

Rather than going to a breeder or a pound, a Hoarder indiscriminately welcomes all the neighbourhood strays. Vet bills? Grooming bills? What are those? A dish of water and an open bag of cat food should be enough, right?

Instead… Adopt an animal and please take care of it. That means make regular trips to the groomer (especially for those who own non-shedding dogs) and your local veterinarian. If you can only afford to look after one, maintain a one-pet household.

Extend the Life of Your Groceries

Stockpiling yogurt, eggs and other perishables while ignoring their expiration dates saves you the trouble of regular grocery trips and forking out more cash than necessary. Plus, hey, there’s the added benefit of a few hundred new friends! Tiny friends with six legs each who have an appetite for rotten food.

Instead… If you really want to cut down on buying certain food items regularly by making them last longer, freeze them! Just make sure you’re freezing them properly.

Use Unopened Product Boxes as Furniture

Many Hoarders have a supplemental shopping addiction and collect purchased items rather than trash. But if you think they actually unbox their purchases, you’d be wrong. Dropping a few (or several) hundred bucks on furniture doesn’t seem appealing when you can make a vague couch shape with a bunch of electric kettle packages.

Instead… Use the Internet. It’s your friend. Craigslist and eBay are the go-to sites for hagglers selling furniture. You could also try other reputable recycling sites like Kijiji, Freecycle and LetsAllShare.

Cut Down on Lawn Maintenance (By Never Doing It)

For a Hoarder, the lawn isn’t a beautiful expression of your home courtesy of Mother Earth. It’s a trash bin for whatever can’t fit in the house. On the upside, you’re swimming in all that cash that would otherwise go to pesky things like a lawn mower, shovel and gardening tools.

Instead… Pay a kid in your neighbourhood to clip your grass or shovel your snow. You’re saved from doing the labour and your wallet’s saved from the bite of hiring a professional.

Is Hoarders one of your guilty-pleasure TV shows? Do you ever feel the need to clean after watching it? Sound off in our comments!

Category: shopping